Rediscovering poetry…
Posted: October 8, 2010 Filed under: Poetry, Reading & Books, Writing & Blogging | Tags: alastair reid, Books, pablo neruda, poem, poetry, return to a city, writing Leave a commentRecently, I’ve been teaching a bit of poetry to one of my private students at work. She’s quite enthralled with it all, and it’s been making me miss my poetry collection back home. Until I’m reunited with my books, I will have to make do with the Internet. Yesterday was National Poetry Day. I used to try to write something on National Poetry Day, but this year I settled for reading. This morning, I discovered a Chilean poet called Pablo Neruda. He wrote this wonderful poem, translated by Alastair Reid, called “Return to a City”. Here it is:
Return to a City
What have I come to? I ask them.
Who am I in this dead city?
I can’t find either the street or the roof
of the crazy girl who once loved me.
There’s no doubting the crows in the branches,
the monsoon green and boiling,
the scarlet spittle
in the eroded streets,
the air heavy–but where,
where was I, who was I?
I understand only the ashes.
The betel-seller looks at me,
recognizing neither my shoes
nor my recently resurrected face.
Perhaps his grandfather would grant me
a salaam, but it so happens
that he succumbed while I was travelling,
dropped deep into the well of death.
I slept in such a building
fourteen months and the corresponding years;
I wrote out my misery.
I bit
innocently into bitterness.
I pass now and the door is not there.
The rain has been working overtime.
Now it dawns on me that I have been
not just one man but several,
and that I have died so many times
with no notion of how I was reborn,
as if the act of changing clothes
were to force me to live another life,
and here I am without the least idea
of why I cannot recognize a soul,
of why no one recognizes me,
as if everyone here were dead
and I alive in the midst of such forgetting,
a bird that still survives–
or, the reverse, the city watching me,
and realizing I am the one who is dead.
I walk through the silk bazaars,
and the markets of misery.
It is hard to believe the streets
are the selfsame streets; the black eyes,
hard as nailpoints,
glare back against my glances,
and the pale Gold Pagoda
with all its frozen idolatry
has no eyes now, no hands,
no longer any fire.
Goodbye, streets soiled by time,
goodbye, goodbye, lost love.
I return to the wine of my house,
I return to the love of my loved one,
to what I was and to what I am,
water and sun, earth ripe with apples,
months with lips and with names.
I come back not to return;
no more do I wish to mislead myself.
It is dangerous to wander
backward, for all of a sudden
the past turns into a prison.
Eat, Pray, Love…
Posted: September 20, 2010 Filed under: Life, Reading & Books, Travel & Tourism, Writing & Blogging | Tags: book, committed, eat pray love, elizabeth gilbert, travel 1 CommentEat, Pray, Love.
First, I saw the preview for the movie. Then, I decided to read the book. Finally, I saw the movie. Now, I have to admit… I’m totally in awe of Elizabeth Gilbert. I want to meet her, shake her hand, and tell her she’s my hero.
OK, so I can’t actually relate to her story. It’s a story of divorce – something I know nothing about. But on the other hand, I can relate to her story so much. It’s a story of breaking free from the life you think you have to live, daring to ask yourself the radical question “What do you want to do?”. It’s a story that reminds us that it’s ok to eat a whole pizza once in a while, that it’s ok to stop and think about life, and that when we stop looking for all the things we think we need, the ones we actually need find us anyway.
I won’t ruin the story for those of you who haven’t read it yet. I will just say READ IT. As for the movie, watch it after you’ve read the book, and accept that it is different from the book, but allow it to carry you away on an adventure anyway.
Oh, and then read “Committed”, which is a sort of sequel.
If you tell me, after reading these books, that they didn’t have a profound affect on you, or that you don’t now want to travel or start something new, I won’t believe you.
Finally (and this will make more sense once you’ve read “Eat, Pray, Love”), find yourself a “Richard from Texas”. I think everyone needs one in their lives… 😉
Not enough time in the day…
Posted: July 16, 2010 Filed under: Goals, Life, Poetry, Writing & Blogging | Tags: dream, goal, Life, writing Leave a commentI want to be the kind of person who wakes up early in the morning to practice tai chi, yoga, or meditation.
I want to travel, explore, take photos and write about it.
I want to have a high-flying career which I adore and am successful at.
I want to wine and dine with friends, family, someone special…
I want to cook, and invite people over for dinner.
I want to study languages. (I want to be fluent in Japanese.)
I want to take workshops and short courses and learn new skills.
I want to write.
I want to sleep.
I want to dream.
…but there’s not enough time in the day.
Faking it.
Posted: June 14, 2010 Filed under: Life, Work 2 CommentsSometimes in life, you’re asked to fake it. We’ve all done it, haven’t we? Today I got to thinking, how do you feel when you know you’re faking it?
Before you get all excited, I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about work. How many of you have done a job at some time in your life where you’ve had to fake it? I have. When I was at university I worked in a video games shop, and I had to fake enthusiasm for shoot ’em ups. That wasn’t so bad though. At the end of the day, the customers didn’t really care if I liked video games or not. What did matter was that what they bought was right for them. And that’s where I had a problem. My manager wanted me to sell them extra memory cards, extra control pads, extra everything, regardless of whether or not they needed it. “Just tell them they need it”, he said. I couldn’t do that.
Now, ten years later, I hear from a good friend in a similar situation. Only this time it’s a little more serious. A lot of my friends are teachers of various kinds, in various countries, and you wouldn’t believe some of the stories I hear. A teacher is someone you should be able to trust, but what is that teacher to do when they’re asked to fake it?
Some companies only know how to focus on money. Personally, I think value for money is more important. My friend has been asked to fake it – she’s been asked to teach something she knows nothing about, to students who believe she is an expert, or at least a trained professional. She is neither.
These students are hoping to go to university in another country. It’s their dream. They’ve paid a lot of money to take classes in order to pass the very important (and, I should add, expensive) test they have to pass in order to get into that university. She has to teach them how to pass. And in order to do that, she has to fake it.
She knows about as much about these tests as the students know. Perhaps less. She’s not even a qualified teacher, actually. She’s just a native English speaker with a degree which, shockingly, is enough to qualify her to… fake it.
So, how would you feel in that situation? Could you fake it? It’s only a job, after all. Personally, I would have some moral issues with it. I think I could only fake it so far…
This post was part inspired by the fabulous Sex & The City (Season 3, Episode 14), so here’s a clip. I love Charlotte’s line at the end. Perhaps my friend is thinking “my career is a fake Fendi“…
The settling gene…
Posted: March 18, 2010 Filed under: Life, TV | Tags: babies, houses, marriage, miranda, satc, settle, settling down, sex and the city 7 CommentsI was walking home tonight, when I saw guy I know from work waiting at the bus stop. Normally I would just say ‘hi’ and continue walking (I don’t know him so well), but he waved me over with a huge grin on his face.
“What’s up?”, I asked.
His reply was to show me his cell phone with a picture of his two-week old baby boy on it. (Last time I saw him, he was still expecting.)
I think I reacted appropriately. “Wow! So cute! Congratulations!” That’s a normal reaction, right?
The thing is… I faked it. Just as Miranda Hobbes fakes her sonogram in Sex and the City (Season 4, “Change of a Dress”), I faked my reaction to this guy’s baby. I mean, yeah, it’s great news. And he was clearly thrilled. But it’s so hard to get excited about other people’s kids.
I’m definitely at that age where all my friends are buying houses, getting married and having babies (although not necessarily in that order!), and I can’t help wondering… is there such a thing as a ‘settling gene’? And, if so, do I have one?
As a single girl in her (gulp!) late-twenties, living in rented accommodation, and doing a job which, let’s face it, probably isn’t a lifelong career, I really do feel worlds apart from most of my friends right now. But I have no maternal instinct urging me to settle down and procreate. I do want to buy a house someday, but I don’t know where I want to live yet. And I don’t know if I want to buy that house with someone, or go it alone.
Two of my co-workers are planning weddings right now, and two of my best friends back home got married last year. Another of my friends back home is getting married really soon, and one of the best friends mentioned above is about to have her first baby. I’m thrilled for them all, I really am. But I do find it hard to really be interested in it all when, honestly, I’m not. I’m mean, of course I’m interested in my friends and what they’re doing. But I’m not really interested in weddings and babies.
Is it possible that I am in fact just missing a gene? A gene which would make me dream of white weddings and storks? I am romantic, and I’m not opposed to the idea of settling down (with the right person), but it doesn’t seem to be something I’m going to be doing this side of thirty. And if I do settle down, I really don’t think there will be any babies!
I don’t think I’m completely alone in this line of thought, though. In fact, I’m reading a great book at the moment (The Group by Mary McCarthy), with this excellent line in it:
“It was plain to Polly that many of her married classmates were disappointed in their husbands and envied the girls, like Helena, who had not got married.”
Maybe I, like Helena, could seem to have an enviable life, at least to those who are unhappy with their own. I have no ties, from either a husband or a baby, which means I am able to live in a foreign country and basically do as I please. My free time is my own, my money is my own, my choices are my own. I don’t really have to answer to anyone, and I’m free to change my mind, my hairstyle, and my sheets 😉 as often as I like. Maybe I’m better off without the settling gene?
What do you think?
Lent: As good an excuse as any to give something up…
Posted: February 17, 2010 Filed under: Dieting & Health, Food & Drink, Goals, Life | Tags: diet, food, lent, weight 1 CommentWhen I was a kid, I used to go to church. I remember trying to give things up for Lent (the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter in Western Christianity). The most successful time I remember was when I gave up some of my pocket money and then sent it to Shelter, a homeless charity. I remember feeling very proud of myself for doing something good.
These days I’m not religious at all, but last night I was reminded (on Facebook, of all places) that it was Pancake Day (or, Shrove Tuesday) and that therefore Lent was next. I had spent most of the day fretting about my weight and trying to figure out new dieting plans, without much success. Suddenly, Lent seemed like the perfect chance, and just the excuse I had been looking for.
You see, I just don’t seem to have enough will-power at the moment to simply say “I’ll be good, I’ll diet”. I need more of a reason. And what better reason than “I can’t eat that – I gave it up for Lent”?
So, why am I boring you with this post about dieting? Well, as one of my friends pointed out to me on Facebook “how will we know if you cheat?”. You won’t, of course. You have to take my word for it. But, how will I know if I cheat? I figured I needed some rules to stick to, and sharing the rules with you might help me stick to them more, so here goes…
- These rules apply from today, Wednesday 17th February until Easter, Sunday 4th April.
- No Kit Kats – I can buy them and photograph them, but I can’t eat them!
- No chocolate, biscuits, cakes, puddings, pastries. (Exception – a co-worker’s birthday is coming up and we always have cake. I’m allowed a very small bit, just to be sociable.)
- No omiyage! It’s a Japanese custom to share edible souvenirs whenever you go somewhere. As a result, my school is teeming with this ‘omiyage’, and we always have so much available to snack on.
- I am allowed a maximum of one tall size Starbucks a week, so long as I ask for non-fat milk and no cream.
- I am allowed to eat out with my friends as planned, but avoid dessert and try not to drink too much alcohol.
- Eat lots of fruit.
- Don’t buy ready-to-drink coffee from the convenience store – it’s loaded with calories!
- Do my Davina McCall workout at least once a week.
- Don’t go crazy when Easter comes…
- Confess on this blog and on Facebook if I break any of these rules.
In theory, Lent could not only help me lose weight, it could help me save money, too. My weight is not something I’m willing to share online, but I’ll record it for myself at the beginning and check it again at the end. Actually, I don’t much care what I weigh – it’s more about which clothes fit me. I own two pairs of jeans right now. One pair is really tight and can give me a stomach ache if I wear them for too long. My aim is to be able to wear them comfortably by Easter. So, watch this space…! 😉
"My Life List"
Posted: January 12, 2010 Filed under: Goals, Life | Tags: goal, john goddard, Life, my life list Leave a commentOne rainy afternoon an inspired 15-year old boy named John Goddard sat down at his kitchen table in Los Angeles and wrote three words at the top of a yellow pad, “My Life List.” Under that heading he wrote down 127 goals.
These were not simple or easy goals. They included climbing the world’s major mountains, exploring from source to mouth the longest rivers of the world, piloting the world’s fastest aircraft, running a mile in five minutes and reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica.
Now, a generation later, he has accomplished 109 of these quests, and has logged an impressive list of records in achieving them.
(Quote from: http://www.johngoddard.info)
Today I went to a meeting at my company’s head office. Part of the meeting was about setting goals. First, my trainer asked us “can you remember the goals you set when you first started at this company, on your very first day of training, when you had just arrived in Japan?”. Only one of the ten or so people present could remember and actually had her list with her. I made my list almost 22 months ago, and I have no idea what they were or where my list is. I’m sure “improve my Japanese” would have been on there, though!
Next, my trainer said “reach as high as you can”. We were sitting at this point, and I was the only person who stood up straight away (seemed obvious to me!). Then he told us to try one more time, and then asked us “did you reach higher the second time?”. We nodded. “Why didn’t you reach that high the first time? I told you to reach as high as you could”. Interesting.
Then, my trainer told us about John Goddard, who I had never heard of before. As you can see in the quote above, John started out as a 15-year old boy with big dreams. Now, he is “the world’s greatest goal achiever”, and an actual paid adventurer!
You can see John’s list of 127 goals (of which he has achieved 109 so far) here: http://www.johngoddard.info/life_list.htm. His goals are many and varied, but all thoroughly inspiring. So inspiring, in fact, that I have decided to write my own list…
My list is here: http://muskett.wordpress.com/my-life-list/, and I will update it as and when I think of new goals (these 40 are just the first ones that spilled out of my head today!), and also when I have achieved goals I will cross them off and make a note in red.
I will aim to always reach as high as I possibly can! がんばります！:D
Christmas spirit?
Posted: December 7, 2009 Filed under: Holidays & Festivals, Shopping | Tags: christmas, Holidays & Festivals, presents, Shopping 3 Comments“Bah, humbug!” No, that’s too strong
‘Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year’s been a busy blur
Don’t think I have the energy
To add to my already mad rush
Just ’cause it’s ’tis the season.
The above is a quote from ‘Christmas Wrapping’ by The Waitresses, a song I was appropriately reminded of this evening. I’ve been out finishing my Christmas shopping today and, while it is true to say that Christmas is my favourite holiday, I do often find myself wondering about the true spirit of Christmas.
I was raised in a traditional way – Christmas is a time to give presents to your nearest and dearest. Buying presents is something I enjoy – it’s a great feeling when you find that perfect item for someone you really care about; something you just know will make them smile. But what about all those other presents you have to buy? The presents you have to give out of duty? Or the presents you have to find for the friend who already has everything? I can’t help wondering if somewhere along the lines Christmas has gone wrong.
To be honest, I found a whole bunch of things in the shops today that I would have really liked to receive for Christmas. But I won’t get them, because people who buy me presents don’t know what I want, or aren’t in Japan to see what I see. I’m not complaining, I’m happy for anything I receive for Christmas, and I would be happy receiving nothing, but I can’t help thinking “Wouldn’t it make more sense if we all bought ourselves the things we want instead of buying for others?”.
Would that take the fun out of Christmas? I don’t think so… Personally, I LOVE shopping. So, if I was allowed to go Christmas shopping for myself, that would be awesome! Especially here in Japan, where most shops gift wrap (beautifully) for free. I could buy myself all the things I fancy, have them all wrapped, then go home and put them under my Christmas tree!
I think as we get older it becomes more difficult to buy presents. My friends have jobs and houses now, and they can buy what they want for themselves. I’ve known them for so long that it’s hard to think of something new. And when you add having to post it to another country into that mix, well, it can be hard to find something good. So, I say we start a revolution! Take Christmas back and keep it for yourself… 😀
Impossible bottle
Posted: November 15, 2009 Filed under: Poetry, Writing & Blogging | Tags: bottle, poetry, ship, ship in a bottle, writing 2 CommentsLook at the ship in the bottle!
Sails standing tall, masts high,
floating on a sea of air and glass,
a mystery to the eye…
Look at the ship –
too big to fit through
the slim neck of the bottle.
Tell me how to
complete this impossible task.
Break it down, says the DJ.
Break. It. Down.
It’s the only way.
Look at the ship in the bottle…
Image from: http://www.pbase.com/jwalk/image/29083377
It's the little things…
Posted: November 13, 2009 Filed under: Food & Drink, Holidays & Festivals | Tags: christmas, starbucks, xmas Leave a commentIt’s the little things in life that make me smile. I walked in to Starbucks this morning, my home away from home, and discovered that xmas drink flavors are back!
I chose to sample the brand new Caramel Eclair Latte (which is delicious!), but I was also happy to see that my old favorites, the Dark Cherry Mocha and Gingerbread Latte are back.
There’s something so familiar about seeing the red cups in Starbucks at xmas time. Sipping coffee while listening to xmas classics. I know some would say it’s too early but, as far as I’m concerned, it’s never too early for xmas in Starbucks!
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…
AliMuskett.com 