The marshmallow experiment…
Posted: January 11, 2012 Filed under: Dieting & Health, Food & Drink, Goals, Life, Money & saving | Tags: diet, food, goals, marshmallow experiment, money, postaday, postaweek2012, psychology, saving, stylist magazine Leave a commentDespite all the baking programmes I’ve been watching of late, and the picture below, this is not actually a post about cooking. There will, perhaps, be cake related posts on this blog in the future though.
Today I’m thinking about an interesting article I read on the way home in London’s free weekly magazine, Stylist. The article, “Just. One. More. Bite.” was encouraging readers to try investing in willpower instead of making New Year’s resolutions that will be abandoned before the end of January.
Personally, I’ve tried not to make specific resolutions this year. To be honest, they’re always the same anyway:
- Lose weight
- Save money
- Write more
The third, writing more, seems to be in hand. The other two seem to be horribly intertwined and unapproachable, like a drawer full of old necklaces that you’d like to wear but abandoned long ago because the effort of untangling them will just be too much.
But just think, if you did untangle all those old necklaces, you’d have loads more jewellery you could wear. Pretty, shiny jewellery. (Guys, if you’re reading this, think cables. Pretty, shiny cables that you keep in a drawer, even though you have no idea what they’re for.)
But what’s all this got to do with marshmallows? Well, according to the article, in 1972 (Stylist says ’68, but Wiki says ’72) a bloke called Walter Mischel of Stanford University conducted a test which is known as the Marshmallow Experiment. The test subjects were children (aged 4-6), and each child was taken into a room in which there was a plate with a single marshmallow on it. They were told that they could eat the marshmallow if they wanted to, but that if they waited 15 minutes they could have two. The child was then left alone to decide what to do. Some children simply ate the one marshmallow they were given, but some waited patiently (perhaps covering their eyes so they weren’t tempted or, according to Wiki, “stroking the marshmallow as if it were a tiny stuffed animal“).
The kids who waited got two marshmallows and learnt the lesson of delayed gratification. Follow-up research showed that those who had learnt the lesson went on to have higher academic achievement, and those who didn’t were more likely to have behavioural problems and trouble paying attention in class.
The Stylist article emphasised the importance of willpower; that rather than just denying ourselves the things we want (which will only make us want them more), we should learn to exercise our willpower a bit more, and resist the temptation of instant gratification. That doesn’t mean you can’t have your cake and eat it too, it just means you ought to wait a while between the buying and eating (if you’re baking, I’m not sure where “licking the bowl” fits in to this test, but I’m pretty sure it’s ok).
I need to give myself a marshmallow test. As I mentioned in a previous post, this is my year of being frugal and learning to save up for the things that I want. It’s the first time I’ve ever really tried to save up, and I’m finding it hard already.
Losing weight and saving money may seem like two separate goals, but when I start trying to untangle that twisted mess of chains it becomes quite clear that they have huge impacts on each other. I tend to run in viscous circles: I try to go on a diet, but then I get hungry or something else stresses me out, so I ignore the fact that I have a whole bunch of tasty (not cheap!) fruit and other snacks at home and go on a Sainsbury’s rampage for chocolate and other naughties. I have a night of over-indulgence, spend too much and eat too much, and feel bad about it all in the morning.
If I planned out delicious, nutritious meals with a light sprinkling of yummy but healthy snacks, I could save money and, most likely, lose weight too.
So, how’s my marshmallow test going to work? Right now there is no chocolate in my house (except Options hot chocolate, which really doesn’t count). Next time I go to the supermarket for groceries (not mid-week in a crazy fit of hunger, but for a weekly shop with a sensibly prepared list), I shall buy one, reasonably priced bar of chocolate. The chocolate will sit in my fridge, where I will occasionally stroke it as if it were a tiny, hard, cold animal. Eventually, I will eat it – when I really, really want it.
I won’t cheat by buying extra chocolate along the way. That would bust my diet and budget in one swift punch.
Let’s see if this experiment works…
Legacies
Posted: October 20, 2011 Filed under: Art & Street Art, Life, Women, Writing & Blogging | Tags: art, creativity, exhibition, inspiration, james brett, judith scott, london, museum of everything, postaweek2011, selfridges, writing Leave a commentI’ve been thinking a lot about legacies recently. Without wanting to sound morbid, I’ve been thinking about what is left behind when we die.
Last weekend I visited one of my best friends, who has just had her first baby. Something she said made me realise that, in having a baby and starting a family of her own, she had created her legacy.
Not wanting to have children of my own, I started thinking about how, when I died, there would be nothing left of my name… unless I found some other way to leave my legacy.
Tonight I went to a special Time Out event at The Museum of Everything in Selfridges. All of the artwork featured was by people with some kind of disability. The featured artist of Exhibition #4.1, Judith Scott, had down syndrome and no verbal way of communication because she was deaf and dumb. However, she found a way of communicating through art. She told stories with intricately hand-woven bundles of yarn and found objects. And, once she started, nothing and no one could stop her. Only death. Now her work is hung in a gallery for people to discuss as they swig from free bottles if beer and munch on pop corn from red and white striped bags.
The museum’s founder, James Brett, commented that “we’re here to make stuff“. He added, “perhaps if we don’t make anything, we weren’t here at all“.
This comment stuck with me and my thoughts about legacies. My friend made a family. Judith Scott made objects we can now call art. I have always said that I write because I have to, because I can’t not write. I’m here to make stuff with words, otherwise there’ll be nothing of me left behind.
The Museum of Everything is at Selfridges until 25th October. If you need inspiring, it’s the place to be. Exhibition #4 is on the Lower Ground floor of Selfridges and Exhibition #4.1 (Judith Scott) is upstairs in the old Selfridges Hotel. Both spaces are incredibly designed and worth visiting for their utter uniqueness.
***UPDATE: Exhibition #4.1 at the old Selfridges Hotel has been extended until November 6th, so please check it out!***
What does “home” mean to you?
Posted: September 26, 2011 Filed under: Home & Neighbourhood, Life | Tags: finchley, flat, home, house, london, postaweek2011, wealdstone, wordpress Leave a commentToday’s WordPress Daily Post topic suggestion is: “What does “home” mean to you?“. As this is such an appropriate topic for me at the moment, I couldn’t resist writing something.
“Home” is a topic I’ve thought about a lot this year. I began my year living in Japan, which is a place I will always call “home”. In April, I returned to my childhood home in Bognor Regis, where I then lived for just over three months. While I did enjoy being able to spend more time with my mum, catch up with friends, and sort through a bunch of stuff in my old room, Bognor Regis is not a place I ever intend to call “home” again.
At the end of July I finally got a job and had to move to London very quickly. This haste has since caused me a great number of problems, but there was really nothing I could do about it.
I had two weeks to find a flat in London, no specific area in mind, and a very limited budget. All I knew was that I didn’t want to live in East London again (because I used to live there, and because of the Olympics next year), and I wanted an easy commute. So I looked at a Tube map, picked a line (the Bakerloo Line) and followed it out from Baker Street (where I work) until I found somewhere I could afford.
I started looking online and quickly became frustrated by calling and being told that the properties I had seen on websites were no longer available. When I finally called somewhere and was offered a chance to view a studio flat, I jumped at the chance and got on the next train to London.
It was the first property I viewed, and I knew I shouldn’t rush into making any decisions, but desperation had set in and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to find a place to live. When I saw the door, which was on the high street, my heart sank a little bit but I managed to convince myself that it was what was behind the door that counted.
Behind the door was a dingy hallway and dirty staircase, which led up to a white door. I started telling myself that the hallway didn’t matter, it was what was behind the next door that mattered.
Behind the next door was a room. The room was small, and there was an old-looking double bed in the middle, next to a slightly cracked wooden table. There were two plastic chairs which used to be white, and a water stain on the ceiling. That was the main living and sleeping area. Behind two more doors were a kitchen that was smaller than anything I had seen before and a bathroom containing a water stained shower.
As I describe it now, I can’t believe I actually stood there and thought “I can make this my home”, but I did. I imagined brightening the place up with pictures and knick-knacks, and I imagined cleaning everything up until it sparkled.
The reality was that some of the dirt was so ingrained that it wasn’t going anywhere. The flat was so small that I couldn’t fit hardly any of my stuff in it – in fact, the kitchen cupboards were so narrow that I couldn’t even put my dinner plates away. Seriously.
And then the problems began. The sink was leaking, a few things the letting agent had promised to get fixed weren’t getting fixed, there was nowhere to put my rubbish, the neighbours were really noisy… I won’t go on, but basically it wasn’t as easy as I had imagined to make it my “home”. I tried, though. I bought a colourful duvet cover and a few picture postcards, but nothing could hide the gloom.
Eventually, it all became too much. After a number of run-ins with my letting agent I asked to be let out of my tenancy agreement. On top of the flat being a disaster, the area wasn’t very nice either. Wealdstone was never going to be my “home”.
Fortunately, there is a happy ending to this story. On Saturday I will be getting the keys to my new flat. I’ve come to realise that a “home” should reflect the personality of the person living in it. My new home has a dark pink door, and behind the door there is a spiral staircase leading to a split level studio flat. It’s all self-contained, and thoroughly quirky. It’s incredibly well designed and makes really good use of a small space. It’s inviting, yet private. There’s a bath to relax in, and a skylight to let plenty of light in.
My new “home” means everything to me at the moment. I’m looking forward to adding my own splash of individuality to an already curious property, in a great part of London. I think Finchley will be my home for many years to come, and I’m excited about exploring and discovering new things there.
So, what does “home” mean to you?
How to make a “house” a “home”…
Wishing our lives away…
Posted: September 25, 2011 Filed under: Holidays & Festivals, Life, Shopping | Tags: christmas, easter, halloween, Holidays & Festivals, postaweek2011, Shopping 4 CommentsAs I was browsing the shelves in my local supermarket last weekend I happened to spot a nice little selection of chocolate reindeer. Beside them were gigantic tins of Quality Street. This can only mean one thing – Christmas is coming!
Except, unless I’m mistaken, it’s only September. Kids have only just gone back to school, and we haven’t had Halloween yet. Surely, if anything, the shops should be full of pumpkins and witches?!
I feel like every year is getting shorter, and people are in too much of a rush to move on to the next big thing. We all know Creme Eggs will be available to buy before Christmas Eve and, as much as I do love them and wish they were available all year round, that’s just wrong.
Let me compare England to Japan for a moment. In Japan, there is a very distinct changing of the seasons, and this is reflected in the goods available in the shops. But there is never any overlap. It’s simply not possible to buy Halloween goods and Christmas goods at the same time in Japan. In England, I sometimes wonder if it might actually be possible to buy reduced Halloween goods, Christmas goods, and early Easter goods all at the same time – late November, perhaps?!
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t getting excited about Christmas already. I’ve seen some lovely Christmas cards in the shops, and I’m already imagining where I’m going to put my Christmas tree in my new flat. But I think we need to slow down. If we’re not careful, we’re going to forget to enjoy the moment completely.
So, what am I looking forward to right now? Moving house (again!) next weekend. That’s just about as far into the future as I want to go at the moment.
If you can’t help get excited, there are:
35 days until Halloween
90 days until Christmas
198 days until Easter
(Image source: I think I received it in an email once, but I don’t know whose image it is originally.)
Three-oh
Posted: September 5, 2011 Filed under: Birthdays, Goals, Life, Women | Tags: beyonce, birthday, evening standard, Life, money, postaweek2011, thirty, turning thirty 6 CommentsThe other day, I was reading an article in the Evening Standard called 30 things to do before you’re 30. The article referred to the now grinning with pride Beyoncé pictured below, and how she had managed to get pregnant just in time – she’s 29.
See how she glows? She’s glowing with relief because, at 29, she must be feeling the pressure. There are just so many things one must do before turning 30 – everybody says so.
According to the article, when people are faced with turning thirty, they think they ought to have bought a property, had a baby, co-habited, owned a designer handbag, written a book, dropped their last “e” (what?!), learnt a language and lived abroad. Phew. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
Given that I only have just over 3 months before the big three-oh hits, I don’t think there’s much chance I’m going to cross everything off the list.
But, you know what, I don’t really care.
I used to have this feeling that turning thirty was the be-all and end-all. I know people who still think this – friends who are getting their knickers in a twist because their birthdays are approaching and they’re not married/up the duff/living in their dream home/all of the above.
I had one goal this year – one “thing to do before I turn thirty”. It’s proving difficult, and I’m not sure if I’m going to have achieved it 100%, but my goal was to be financially independent by thirty. By “financially independent”, I mean that I don’t want to be taking any hand-outs and I don’t want to be relying on credit cards.
I’m living in a really shitty little flat at the moment. It’s worse than some of the places I lived in when I was a student. But, you know what, I can afford it. My salary is low, but I’m budgeting my living expenses to match. For once, I’m not living beyond my means.
My twenties have been about working out what I want from life. I hope my thirties will be about achieving those things. I don’t think I need a list though, do you?
It's rubbish…
Posted: August 6, 2011 Filed under: Environment, Life | Tags: bin, environment, Life, london, recycle, rubbish, trash, waste, wheelie bin 2 CommentsI just moved into a new flat in London. It’s a teeny, tiny studio flat – basically a room above a shop with a small kitchen and small bathroom. I don’t mind that it’s teeny tiny – that’s not what’s rubbish. What’s rubbish, is the rubbish situation…
I can’t figure out where to put my rubbish. Before I moved in, I casually asked my letting agent as we were walking to the flat, and he pointed out an alley way. He told me to just put it in there, which seemed a bit strange to me.
Not sure about the alley way situation, I decided to email the council. They replied promptly and politely, and informed me that I should have a wheelie bin. They also told me that if I put my rubbish in the alley way it could be considered fly-tipping.
I have no wheelie bin.
I’ve looked around, and there isn’t even a place where wheelie bins for the five flats in this building could be. What’s more, the council website says that waste is collected every two weeks. So, does that mean I am supposed to store up my rubbish in my teeny tiny kitchen for two whole weeks until I can run outside and dump it in the alley way? If I dump it in the alley way before it’s due to be collected, foxes will probably open it up all over the street.
The council did very kindly provide me with a phone number which I could call to order a new wheelie bin. However, even if I did decide to splash out £15 for a bin, I would still be stuck for somewhere to put it.
On another rubbish-related point, I also asked the council what I should do about recycling. I was informed that, as I live in a flat, I am “not required to recycle“.
This was quite a shock to me. I thought we were supposed to be upping our environmental-consciousness and recycling more. I had already started separating out my paper from plastic, but no one cares – because I’m living in a flat.
Has anyone else in London experienced a similar problem? Can anyone offer a solution?
I need to buy a ticket…
Posted: January 18, 2011 Filed under: Goals, Life, Reading & Books, Work | Tags: eat pray love, elizabeth gilbert, job, ticket, Work Leave a commentAccording to Elizabeth Gilbert, “There’s this wonderful old Italian joke about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint, begging, ‘Dear saint – please, please, please… give me the grace to win the lottery.’ This lament goes on for months. Finally the exasperated statue comes to life, looks down at the begging man and says in weary disgust, ‘My son – please, please, please… buy a ticket.‘”
My lament has gone on long enough. It’s time I bought a ticket. I don’t really think that trying to win the lottery is the way forward though – the odds aren’t really that great. So instead, my “ticket” will be a metaphor for action.
I haven’t been lamenting because I’m poor (although I’m not exactly rich). No, I’ve been lamenting because come April I will be unemployed for the first time in over ten years (if you count part-time jobs). I won’t have an income, and I will be back at my Mum’s house in a town I don’t really want to live in (nothing personal to anyone living there).
So I need to make a plan of action – I need to buy my ticket. If I don’t have a ticket, I’m never going to win, am I?
Plan of Action
1) Spruce up my CV.
2) Make a list of all the companies I would like to work for and agencies who deal with those kinds of companies.
3) Apply! (Even if no jobs are advertised.)
4) Believe that I can get a new job (this is a belief based on the knowledge that I’ve done everything in my power – not just a vain belief)
Wish me luck! 😉
Tobogganing…
Posted: December 1, 2010 Filed under: Goals, Life, Music, Poetry, Work, Writing & Blogging | Tags: nanowrimo, novel, november, toboggan, writing Leave a commentIn my last blog here, I announced that I have just completed the challenge of writing a 50,000 word novel in less than a month. I know that it is not yet a good book, and that it will take a lot of time and effort to make it something that could possibly one day be published, so why am I feeling so relieved right now? When I know that, actually, there’s still a lot of work to do, why do I feel like I’m over the hill and tobogganing down with the finish line in sight?
I’ll tell you why.
Because, not only have I been dragging that damn toboggan up the hill all throughout November, I’ve also been dragging it about behind me everywhere I’ve been for the last three years or more. It’s a weighty old thing and can be really tiresome to drag around behind me, no matter how beautiful it is or how important I know it could be. I’ve dragged it around behind me all this time, hoping that one day I would have the time and energy to climb up that hill and take a ride, but always making excuses and feeling too scared to do so in case I reached the top of the hill and found I couldn’t let go and slide down. I was scared I might never reach the finish line, but also too scared to try.
Well, let me tell you, dragging my toboggan up that hill was worth it. Not only was the journey towards the finishing line spectacular, even the view as I was dragging it up the hill was worth the effort.
And, now that I’ve gone through the process of dragging the toboggan up the hill and enjoying the ride down, I know that there’s nothing to be scared of, and it’s worth a little blood, sweat and tears. I won’t be afraid to do it again, and again, until I become a world-famous professional tobogganist!
So, if you’re dragging your toboggan about, whatever kind it may be (a novel, a song, a poem, a painting…), don’t let go of it. Just get started on that hill, chase yourself to the top, admire the view, and enjoy the ride towards the finish line…
Eat, Pray, Love…
Posted: September 20, 2010 Filed under: Life, Reading & Books, Travel & Tourism, Writing & Blogging | Tags: book, committed, eat pray love, elizabeth gilbert, travel 1 CommentEat, Pray, Love.
First, I saw the preview for the movie. Then, I decided to read the book. Finally, I saw the movie. Now, I have to admit… I’m totally in awe of Elizabeth Gilbert. I want to meet her, shake her hand, and tell her she’s my hero.
OK, so I can’t actually relate to her story. It’s a story of divorce – something I know nothing about. But on the other hand, I can relate to her story so much. It’s a story of breaking free from the life you think you have to live, daring to ask yourself the radical question “What do you want to do?”. It’s a story that reminds us that it’s ok to eat a whole pizza once in a while, that it’s ok to stop and think about life, and that when we stop looking for all the things we think we need, the ones we actually need find us anyway.
I won’t ruin the story for those of you who haven’t read it yet. I will just say READ IT. As for the movie, watch it after you’ve read the book, and accept that it is different from the book, but allow it to carry you away on an adventure anyway.
Oh, and then read “Committed”, which is a sort of sequel.
If you tell me, after reading these books, that they didn’t have a profound affect on you, or that you don’t now want to travel or start something new, I won’t believe you.
Finally (and this will make more sense once you’ve read “Eat, Pray, Love”), find yourself a “Richard from Texas”. I think everyone needs one in their lives… 😉
Not enough time in the day…
Posted: July 16, 2010 Filed under: Goals, Life, Poetry, Writing & Blogging | Tags: dream, goal, Life, writing Leave a commentI want to be the kind of person who wakes up early in the morning to practice tai chi, yoga, or meditation.
I want to travel, explore, take photos and write about it.
I want to have a high-flying career which I adore and am successful at.
I want to wine and dine with friends, family, someone special…
I want to cook, and invite people over for dinner.
I want to study languages. (I want to be fluent in Japanese.)
I want to take workshops and short courses and learn new skills.
I want to write.
I want to sleep.
I want to dream.
…but there’s not enough time in the day.